Harry's secret
by xxxevilxxx
Summary: heh heh read this genius that came from my sheer boredom. rated x for sex... :P haha just read
1. Harrys secret

Disclaimer; I do not own any of the characters in this story; I do however own a very dirty mind which assisted me in the writing of this story, which took longer to write down than to make up.

Draco Malfoy stood in the doorway to the Gryffindor common room. Harry watched as he drew nearer, ever so slowly, outstretching his arms. He pushed Harry onto the couch behind him, and passionately made out with him, sliding his hands toward Harry's crotch. He unzipped Harry's pants, and slid his hand down them. He grabbed, but there was nothing there. He jumped up and screamed, "YOU LIED TO ME, YOURE A GIRL!" with that; he stormed out of the room, passing Hermione as he went.


	2. Can I borrow a pen?

This is the continuation of the original, which is now the first chapter. I wasn't going to add more, but you asked me to, so that I did. I did not create any of the characters in this story, blahbety blah…

Hermione stared at Harry, who was lying on the couch of the Gryffindor common room, with his pants down at his knees. Hermione's eyes were so wide, they looked as if they were threatening to rip open, and her eyebrows have long since disappeared into her bangs.

"What … was Malfoy doing in the common room?" she asked Harry. Harry looked up at her, and answered

"Having sex."

Hermione let out a big sigh of relief

"Oh, so you let him in? He doesn't know the password?" "yes" Harry answered simply.

"Okay, by the way, can I borrow a pen?" she added quickly. Harry reached into his bag, and pulled out an ordinary muggle pen, and handed it to her.

"Thanks" she said, and went up the stairs to the girls' dormitory.

As soon as Harry heard the door to the dormitory close, Ron came in from the portrait hole. Harry put on his 'depressed' look.

"Hey, what's wrong, mate?" Ron asked Harry

"Malfoy dumped me." Harry answered.

"That bastard!" Ron looked up at Harry "say, do you need me to comfort you?" Harry's face turned to a smile "yeah" he said. Ron grabbed him… by the hand (heh heh almost got you there, didn't I?) and pulled him to the boys' dormitory.

Meanwhile, in the girls' dorm…

Hermione let out a pleasured moan… She never fully considered the usefulness of Harry's school supplies until now. She pumped herself faster and faster until she was moaning her own name in ecstasy. Parvati Patil turned over, and put her pillow over her head, and thought, "she really needs to find herself a guy."

The next morning, she met up with Harry and Ron in the common room. She pulled Harry's pen out of her bag, and handed it to him. Harry took the pen, and asked her

"How come all the pens I let you borrow have cum on them?" Hermione smiled "how do you know it's cum?" she asked

"I tasted it" Harry answered Hermione looked at him puzzled

"How do YOU know what cum tastes like?" Harry put on a mischievous grin

"I've never told anybody, but I'm flexible."


	3. hey, buttplug!

Harry's secret part 3; the most disturbing one yet 

Thank you to all those who read and reviewed. I wuv you. BTW, happy v-day!

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Harry was walking down the hall to the dungeon, when he heard somebody call

"Hey, butt plug!" He looked around, and saw Malfoy standing at the other end of the hall. He ran up and pinned him against the wall. Harry sighed. This brought back so many good memories.

"Did you just call me a mudblood?" Harry asked

"No, I called you butt plug." Malfoy stated. Harry looked at Malfoy, and one look into those sexy blue eyes drained the anger out of Harry. He slid his hand lower. Since Harry and Draco were known enemies. Seeing the golden boy pinning the slytherin sex god to the wall would not disturb them as much as it should have, but just in case, Harry suggested they go to the prefects' bathroom.

They got to the prefects bathroom, and went inside. There, Hermione was sitting in the bathtub with an unknown Ravenclaw. She stood up in shock, fully exposing herself. Catching sight of her, Harry's right eye exploded. He ran in circles, and smashed into the wall, as Malfoy said a quick incantation that returned Harry's face to normal.

"Room of requirement it is, then" said Malfoy.

Meanwhile, in the boys' dormitory…

Ron sat on his bed, stroking himself vigorously. The door cracked, and Ginny came in. She opened her mouth to say something, but at the sight of Ron and his hard little friend, she just stood and stared.

"Ey, Ginny, I was just thinking about you!" said Ron. Ginny screamed and ran to the girls dormitory, where she found a corner, sat against it in the fetal position, and rocked herself. Ron wiped himself free of his sperm, and thought 'hmmm, all that jacking off makes me hungry… I'm in the mood for some human cheese… I hope Hermione's not in class…"

Back at the prefects' bathroom, Hermione and the Ravenclaw ran from the bathroom, wearing nothing but little bubbles.

"Well, I guess the bathtub's free, then." Said Harry. Harry and Malfoy both undressed and got into the large tub.

"Toss my salad?" Harry suggested.

"Why not." Malfoy answered and dove under the water.

* * *

A/N; thanx for reading meh story. That's all you're getting until more of me and my friends' conversations go astray onto more horrific topics as you have seen here… please review or I wont write more of this garbage (at least not on this topic.) and please note that I failed to specify whether the unknown Ravenclaw is male or female, so I'll leave that up to your imagination, and also, for those who don't know, toss a salad means analingus. If you don't know what analingus is, go look in a dictionary. is a dictionary. Just so you know, my sexual vocabulary is more extensive than you can imagine and I try to leave most of it out as not to confuse y'all…. Have a very sexy valentine's day! 


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